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Deer While we're at it, go ahead and automatically sign up Amazon corporate employees for organ donation and recurring gifts to animal shelters... And free shipping for life on our favorite coffee
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Dec 6, 2023 02:05
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| # ? Jun 10, 2024 03:47 |
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Bear. Celebrate your hacking success by whipping up the Forbidden Eggnog for yourself.
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Dec 6, 2023 02:09
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A Candy Cane Paint all the reindeer noses red. If one red nose is good...
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Dec 6, 2023 02:25
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A Bear Accidentally do that another seven times in a row!
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Dec 6, 2023 03:18
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I should have stuck with 'standing on hind legs.' Sqrl Make sure the usual surreptitious crime folks here get their cut.
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Dec 6, 2023 11:07
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Dawg  Before we unplug, go to Walmart.com and set the same worm to anonymously dump $500k into Walmart union activist coffers.
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Dec 6, 2023 15:09
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Cat While you're hacking, might as well get trackin' (the supposed Ichor delivery). You did pay for expediated delivery, right?
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Dec 6, 2023 18:33
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 Image is of a deer. Slaan guesses correctly. Current score: 4-2. Automatically sign up Amazon corporate employees for organ donation and recurring gifts to animal shelters... And free shipping for life on our favorite coffee action chosen. You know your time in Amazon's cyber-server is limited. Eventually the security subroutines will zerg rush you into a forced disconnection, the neural feedback screetching the insides of your brain to mush - if you were lucky, you'd die instantly. The matter now is how best to spend what limited time you have. You set up a coffee subscription, delivering the good beans straight to the North Pole every two weeks, free shipping. You swashbuckle and fence your way past the assorted daemons and datalinks until you find the staff database, but find nothing relating to organ donation; presumably that info's on government servers. You can, however, determine which of the c-suite brass are overpaid too much, and set up standing orders to divert small-but-reasonable amounts of cash to that employee's nearest animal shelter. You hope they'll never notice; you hope that, if they do, they'll let it slide and the donations continue. The cross-referencing of locations and shelters takes its toll on you, and you find your rexflexes slowing. An ICE program steps in close and scrapes your right arm. Pain! The shock of it makes you drop your digi-katana. You punch the ICE with your left fist and send it flying, buying you the space you need. You close your eyes and nod, the signal that allows yourself to be safely disco- -nnected. You're still sat at your desk, panting, drowning in sweat, your computer showing the rube-net version of Amazon. Your order is packaged and ready to be shipped. You close the screen window, and notice the fresh line of blood staining the sleeve across your right arm. As the rest of the 'tech gets stowed away, the office clock strikes the hour. Three hours remain.
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Dec 7, 2023 01:47
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A bear. After a high tech adventure like that, take the time to seek the library and settle down to read a good book.
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Dec 7, 2023 01:54
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Squirrel Speaking of, where is the doc anyways? How'd he get a bit here from Aotearoa anyways? The Big Man doesn't let elfs use time dilation and teleportation for such things! Maybe he is back already? Turn on the Doc's internal tracking device to see where he's at
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Dec 7, 2023 02:26
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Deer. Ruminate on how your past career as a netsurfer brought you to the 'Pole. But not, pointedly, in a tech security role.
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Dec 7, 2023 02:28
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A Candy Cane Paint all the reindeer noses red with our own blood ('cause we're still bleeding). If one red nose is good...
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Dec 7, 2023 03:34
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Dog Now would be a good time for a nice, relaxing cup of joe. Quadruple-brewed.
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Dec 7, 2023 15:41
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Cat Pop by the library to see how far along Caltime has gotten on her latest book, and mention the whole ichor situation to her.
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Dec 7, 2023 16:13
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Rodent Check up on the library. Chat with Caltime and a surprising colleague who just happens to be there.
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Dec 8, 2023 01:46
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 Image is of a robin atop a baby deer. COMBO! Arcanuse guesses correctly. Current score: 5-2. Ruminate on how your past career as a netsurfer brought you to the 'Pole, but not, pointedly, in a tech security role action chosen. Breathing deeply, you get up and walk to the office watercooler, grabbing a cup of cold water and downing it in one go. You'd forgotten how much cyberspace takes out of you. That was your first serious dive in, what eight years? Before your current gig, certainly. Back when you were in Akureyri, Iceland. You rented a 1-bed fleapit and survived on cheap ramen and cheaper whisky. You'd get emails from "Cruel Steve", your handler, with the details on what to dive and when. You dove, wrecked poo poo, and got paid. He was ripping you off, almost certainly, but it saved you from giving a poo poo about anything. You scrunch the paper cup and throw it in the bin. You notice the line of red across your right arm. Better take care of that, you think, making your way to the first aid station. You roll up your sleeve and wash away the blood, revealing a four-inch long wound on the back of your right forearm. It reminds you of the similar, smaller one you have just off your left shoulder, a souvenir of the last job you did. You'd made your way to the target server and security was water-tight; daemons, ICE and firewalls for days. Being the cocky young bastard you were, you still gave it a good shake, sticking to the cybershadows, slowly picking your way through. Then, the unthinkable - whoever owned the server just turned it off! It was all you could do to get clear before the whole block shimmered into digital nothingness, catching your shoulder as you did so. Obviously, someone had spilled the beans, told 'em of your coming. And just like that, you were cut loose, the name "Cruel Steve" just an echo no-one else had ever heard. No work, no money, no rent. With nowhere else to turn, you arranged a clerical job at the North Pole Workshop Complex and hitch-hiked your way north. With your wound all bandaged up, you make your way back to your desk. Two hours, fifty minutes remain.
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Dec 8, 2023 02:20
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A rodent on a snowy background. Go look for the Necronomicon in the library on a whim, it's probably somewhere in the N section.
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Dec 8, 2023 02:28
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BraveLittleToaster posted:A rodent on a snowy background. Don't you mean the naughty section?
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Dec 8, 2023 02:41
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Bunny Still a good time for that coffee, now I'm thinking Irish. Very Irish.
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Dec 8, 2023 05:15
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We're about due a fox Look up the Big Man's previous job, out of curiosity.
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Dec 8, 2023 12:22
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A pair of tree-dwelling nut-gatherers. Take another look at that sticky note. Doctors usually write with a pretty distinctive (bad) hand. Does this look anything like his? Analyze.
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Dec 8, 2023 15:53
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A mouse with another animal Pop by the library to see how far along Caltime has gotten on her latest book, and mention the whole ichor situation to her.
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Dec 9, 2023 00:50
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 Image is of a squirrel. Only the one, apologies The Wandering Mage. And that background's pretty snowy, so BraveLittleToaster pops up again. Go look for the Necronomicon in the library on a whim, it's probably somewhere in the N section action chosen. You make your way to the library where Caltime is sat at the reception desk, reading a book. You give her a quick wave as you make your way to the N section of the Non-Fiction books. She waves back. You search for where the Necronomicon, the fabled Book of the Dead, would be. Try as you might, you can't find it anywhere. You take it carefully going through each book in the section, from the dry medical studies of necrobiosis to the slightly-less-dry textbooks on necrophagous animals (carrion eaters). Evenually Caltime pops her head around the corner. "What are you after, Jay-Tee?" "Necronomicon," you reply. "Sure! One sec!" All you hear is the rapid tapping of doll feet on carpet as she runs to another section. After twenty seconds she returns, a book in her hands. She passes it to you: The Necronomicon: The Best Weird Tales of HP Lovecraft. "Found it!" she trills, beaming with pride, happy for having done her job well. "Fiction, under L!" Two hours, forty minutes remain. Cloud Potato fucked around with this message at 02:14 on Dec 15, 2023 |
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Dec 9, 2023 02:39
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Pig Ask our good librarian friend if she's heard from the Doc recently and then go to the armory to get a rescue team prepped, just in case. Those Seals certainly have a bite even worse than their bark, so be careful around the lounging ice, Jingleterry!
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Dec 9, 2023 02:50
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A small, furred mammal on a snowy background. Read the Necronomicon, chat up Caltime about what's been happening today, and suggest starting a book club. BraveLittleToaster fucked around with this message at 03:18 on Dec 9, 2023 |
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Dec 9, 2023 03:16
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badger In using the Necronomicon in a ritual (burning Lovecraft's works in the fireplace) badger Agashiel, the psycho-physical manifestation of human nightmares, to speed up your Ichor delivery.
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Dec 9, 2023 07:58
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Bird Check the radar.
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Dec 9, 2023 14:17
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 Image is of a bear. Bears are not small. Current score: 6-3. Randomly determining action: 1d4 2 BraveLittleToaster's Read the Necronomicon, chat up Caltime about what's been happening today, and suggest starting a book club action chosen. You open up the book and begin reading out loud. HP Lovecraft posted:NIGHT-GAUNTS After a few moments of silence, Caltime says "Hmm. Much to think about, there." in as polite a voice as she can manage. She claps her hands together and her voice raises an octave. "So! Are you all ready for 'The Great Awakening'?" "Yep," you reply, "sleigh's all ready presents are done, soup's cooking, I'm good until the hour strikes. I also had to find a jar of ichor, there was this post-it-" "That was me!" Caltime says, giddy with excitement. "Button called me in the middle of last night, bloody timezones. Asked me to write a note and leave it on your desk. My forgery skills are coming along, hmm? Bet you thought it was genuine Doctor's Handwriting!" "Huh. You could have just emailed, or said something." "Where's the fun in that? Mysteries, Jay-Tee, they keep the world spicy!" "And blurting out that you did it as soon as I say something?" She shrugs. "Pride. I can be over-eager sometimes." "Well. Bought it online, so that's also dealt with. Anyway, have you thought about a book clu-" "WE. HAVE. ONE!!" She stomps her tiny feet on the floor for emphasis, her hands now fists. "I email you every month about this! First Monday of the month, breakroom, 7pmish! Rudy, Mrs C and I, going through some old sci-fi and eating cakes! This month's is The Dispossessed by Ursula Le Guin. Oh, and we're on the 8th this month, 'cos you know, New Year's and all that." "Of course," you say, aiming for as polite a voice as you can manage. "I will definitely give it some thought." Two hours, thirty minutes remain.
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Dec 10, 2023 02:55
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A peaceful woodland creature in a wintery forest-like environment. Starting watching The Muppets Christmas Carol on your phone, this is a good use of your valuable time.
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Dec 10, 2023 03:05
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Boar Become paranoid that Caltime forged your signatures on stuff you control and double check the logs for unusual activities we don't remember
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Dec 10, 2023 03:11
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Bird Check the radar.
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Dec 10, 2023 09:54
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Chipmunk Give your Christmas gift to Caltime early, since she's all about sharing them spoilers early tonight, apparently...
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Dec 10, 2023 23:09
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 Image is of a bird, possibly a partridge. Where it sits on the dove-hawk scale is unknown. AJ_Impy soars to new heights of guessing. Current score: 7-3. Check the radar action chosen. You thank Caltime for the book and make your way back to the desk. On a whim, you check the local radar for any sign of anything encroaching upon the Workshop Complex. The radar reports no unusual contacts. There's nothing out there but snow and trees, and the occasional animal. You check the computer: your package is out for delivery. Frowning, you tap into the power systems and give the radar more juice, hoping to boost its range. You see a lot of new contacts, none of which are moving. You flag them in the system as suspected trees and- Aha! A moving contact! Bogey approaching from 122°W, still about 30 miles out. At present course and speed, it should reach the Workshop Complex in twenty minutes. Two hours, twenty minutes remain.
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Dec 11, 2023 00:58
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An organism of the biological kingdom Animalia in a location blanketed in snow. Prepare a song and dance number to ambush the bogey with in advance.
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Dec 11, 2023 01:06
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A four-legged creature with brown fur Scan the Bogey, broad-spectrum.
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Dec 11, 2023 01:17
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Snow-covered grass because that's what belongs in a deer's neck and I think that's where our next door is. Paint all the reindeer noses red. If one red nose is good...
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Dec 11, 2023 04:28
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Turkey Wake The Big Man up ten minutes early so we can be there to grab the delivery
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Dec 11, 2023 05:29
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Fox Fire up ye olde vidya console to check out the new character DLC you've already downloaded into your favorite Fighting Game
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Dec 11, 2023 07:10
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A weasel. Better get a move on and prep the commercial delivery bay. Where's your usual Arctic Researcher disguise got to these days?
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Dec 11, 2023 16:37
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 Image is of a hedgehog, again. Dismissing BraveLittleToaster and LLSix's guesses for being too broad; the fur on a hedgehog's underside is white. No correct guesses. Current score: 7-4. Randomly determining action: 1d6 3 LLSix's Paint all the reindeer noses red action chosen. You're suddenly struck by a genius thought. You should paint the noses of the other reindeer! After all, if one red nose is good... One quick detour to the assembly lines for red paint later, you quietly sneak your away around the large exterior door of the Stables. You see nine reindeer, their heads buried in troughs, eating the fairy-dust-enhanced food that will fuel their flight. Rudelf is sat at his desk, his back to you, tapping away at his computer. You approach the nearest reindeer. The nametag on the stall reads Comet. He doesn't even look at you, his attention focused on his meal. You load your paintbrush up with red paint and carefully dab a bit onto the bits of Comet's nose that you can see. He snorts, to clear his nostrils, but otherwise leaves you alone. More confident, now, you sneak to the next reindeer, and the next, painting their snouts with your red paint. Skipping Rudolph, of course. Soon, all eight regular reindeer have matching red noses, and none seem to mind. Success! Your phone buzzes with a message: PROXIMITY ALERT. Hearing the buzz, Rudelf turns around. Two hours, ten minutes remain.
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Dec 12, 2023 02:13
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