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mega dy posted:She’s generally very awake. We’ve got to swaddle and soothe her just to get her to go down without a fight. Our boy has been like this since maybe a month old. Once he left the very sleepy newborn phase he just never wants to nap during the day, and seems to actively resist daytime sleep. He’ll even be really angry when on the rare occasion he does take a decent nap and wakes up from it, as is he has realized he let his guard down or was tricked into it. Stroller naps have worked alright for us, so we’ve been taking a lot of walks. Other than that, now at about 4 months old he is showing some emerging hints of a nap schedule, although it’s very sporadic still. So I don’t have much to offer other than solidarity, and the faint hope that things will improve. From what I understand this kind of thing is fairly common.
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Apr 30, 2024 12:49
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We often put our oldest in the stroller and went for a walk while she napped. Mainly between 6 months and 12 months I believe although my memory is hazy
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Apr 30, 2024 14:09
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My kid preferred carrier naps at that point, so I took a lot of walks. He vehemently hated prams until he was old enough to sit up in one.
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Apr 30, 2024 18:32
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Octonauts is leaving Netflix tomorrow and I'm very concerned about this
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May 1, 2024 05:00
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It's the end of the mission
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May 1, 2024 16:40
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Got a tiny 1.95 kg boy. From induced labor to birth was 7 hours. Just 6 minutes of pushing, which has got to be a record somewhere. Swaddled in a day-glo blue blanket to prevent jaundice. Our hospital room looks like a gaming pc exploded in it. We’re breast feeding, doubled up with sneaking a syringe-fed straw in with the nip, followed by a second dinner of straw+my pinky or just a syringe while on his back, since he gets all tuckered out suckling. Think we’re headed in the right direction. Poor little guy is too pissed off about being hungry/gassy to eat when he wakes up, but he’s got some good lungs and intake is increasing. All I think about is putting food in our cute mini-babby. Hoping we can get to a point where I can instead think about sleeping.
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May 3, 2024 20:55
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Oh wow, my boy was so small and was still twice as heavy, he must be so tiny I can't even imagine! Congratulations!
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May 3, 2024 22:36
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Thank you! There aren’t many kids in my family so my frame reference is kinda warped. The other newborns in the unit all look really old to me. He’s eating twice what he did yesterday and his back doesn’t look like a supermarket chicken anymore. Fingers crossed his weight and bilirubin count have improved
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May 4, 2024 06:53
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Ours was 6#4oz so like 2.8kg? I logged every feeding to the ml for the first 3-4 weeks. Feedings start small but soon their stomach will expand and they'll quickly be doing 10-15ml in 2 weeks and then suddenly 20ml will be routine. They pack on the weight fast Remember, butter is a byproduct of milk, raw milk has both what we consider "milk" plus all the butterfat, it's super super dense with nutrients Life will get easier soon hang in there. Once you hit the 6 week mark, life is way way easier 
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May 4, 2024 07:03
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Thanks for the reassurance. The nurses scared the poo poo out of us yesterday about jaundice. The current plan is fewer meals but packing in as much food as possible in a short time, so he doesn’t spend too many calories suckling. We’re keeping a log but it looks like it was written by a crazy person.
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May 4, 2024 07:56
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Sleep deprivation does make you pretty crazy, not gonna lie. It also inhibits forming long term memories. Take at a minimum, twice as many photos and 3x as many videos as you think you should, and always capture at least 1:00 of video, even if it's just dead air. You'll appreciate this later You'll get through it
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May 6, 2024 10:27
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Me and my wife had just switched our main chat thing to a discord channel with just us and some bots for stuff and our baby channel went from us sourcing gear for him to just logs of his feeds and changes because we couldn't for the life of us remember when we fed him last. It's not an issue now, he gets very regular feeds, but it's very nice to be in work, away from him and get the discord alert when he's finished a bottle along with notes and observations  Also I'm pretty sure I've been having a hayfever like reaction to his baby powder for the last 12 weeks...
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May 6, 2024 11:09
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Hadlock posted:Sleep deprivation does make you pretty crazy, not gonna lie. It also inhibits forming long term memories. Take at a minimum, twice as many photos and 3x as many videos as you think you should, and always capture at least 1:00 of video, even if it's just dead air. You'll appreciate this later 8 tears together and it took this for me to start taking pictures. Definitely covered on that front! Anyways partner and kiddo were released from the hospital’s clutches today/yesterday and I think everything is fine. Current question is how much can a 2 kg baby possibly eat in one sitting. New PB tonight of close to 40ml followed by very angry suckling into coma
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May 7, 2024 01:59
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Fruits of the sea posted:Current question is how much can a 2 kg baby possibly eat in one sitting. New PB tonight of close to 40ml followed by very angry suckling into coma It's been a while since I looked at our log book, I'm not even sure where it is, but IIRC anything approaching 25ml in a 10 min session was really good for our kiddo. We did exclusively bottle feed though. I'm not a doctor
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May 7, 2024 02:19
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It depends on the kid too. Ours is lower weight (tracks at the 15th percentile pretty consistently) and so he was always eating a bit less than the average suggestion. Best to track it over an entire day and figure out ml/kg* rather than what they’ll eat in one sitting. *really better to do calories per kg, since breast milk and formula are different calories per ml, and some kids get enriched formulas too. Our son was all over the place. Sometimes he’d take little sips and give up then the next feeding he’d crush a whole bottle and want more.
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May 7, 2024 05:46
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I was redirected here so let's test the waters again, My lady and I have a theory about reducing or maybe even eliminating tearing during childbirth but we don't want to offend anyone by speaking frankly, but non sexually, about a traditionally sexual topic. Is this the place to talk about it?
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May 8, 2024 17:36
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oxyrosis posted:I was redirected here so let's test the waters again, I say go for it. Could be helpful for someone! Bodies are just bodies, it doesn’t have to get weird.
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May 8, 2024 18:07
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is it olive oil and fisting?
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May 8, 2024 18:24
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So my lady is very afraid of the pain of childbirth, and we got to talking last night seeing as she is now IUD free and childbirth is now our new goal. We are sexually adventurous and have gotten into fisting her which got us thinking, what causes pain during childbirth? Obviously the cervix opening up is an important aspect, but it seems like another damaging element is tearing during the push. Then we thought a bit more and rationed that seeing as we've only ever heard of external tearing, what can we do about that? Pornstars can take ridiculous amounts of width with practice and we are already working on her taking my fist so why not explore that more? I also receive her anally and can confidently say that when something large and hard like a fist pulls on a tight opening as it exits, it sure can hurt. But it doesn't always, in fact with practice, it can actually be an easy process. And in my case, I've never torn because I'm, A. Experienced B. In the headspace that it will all be okay. What we were wondering is, has anyone here also dabbled in fisting and then subsequently given birth? Did you tear? We think it might be a great method to avoid tearing as it allows a person to become comfortable with extreme stretching as well as gives them a confidence in themselves that, yes, this is going to be okay and is quite possible, actually.
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May 8, 2024 18:25
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i KNEW it was fisting!!! Preventing tearing is about giving time for the skin/tissue to adjust while pushing. So pushing slow can help a lot, moisturizing can help, and practice stretching can help. Nothing is a guarantee, and if your goal is pain prevention then I’m not sure if tearing should be the #1 thing you’re worried about. Contractions hurt a hell of a lot more imo, especially if you’re afraid of them or they go on a long time or medication is juicing them up.
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May 8, 2024 18:32
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cailleask posted:i KNEW it was fisting!!! It's not the only thing we're worried about, but it is something that we actually can do something about we think.
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May 8, 2024 18:33
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One of my biggest takeaways from giving birth is that there's basically nothing new or untested at this point. Whenever something felt weird or painful during my pregnancy, I'd look it up and it'd turn out to be something totally normal that a bunch of people experience. Tens of millions of people have babies every year, and with the internet there's information out there for every single aspect of childbirth, including the idea of using fisting to prepare ahead of time Just do whatever you two wanna do in the bedroom and don't waste your time justifying it as training/practice/etc imo
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May 8, 2024 19:21
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Yeah like if you like fisting then you should do it? But don’t think of it as any kind of childbirth prep. Imagine the worst charlie horse leg cramp you’ve ever had. Imagine it happening every 3 minutes and lasting 1 minute every time. Imagine it’s basically your whole abdomen. Now imagine it’s going on continuously for between 6 hours and 48 hours. The best way to prep for that is to expect it’s going to hurt like the above would hurt and to figure out how you want to handle it.
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May 8, 2024 19:33
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Super Librarian posted:One of my biggest takeaways from giving birth is that there's basically nothing new or untested at this point. Whenever something felt weird or painful during my pregnancy, I'd look it up and it'd turn out to be something totally normal that a bunch of people experience. Tens of millions of people have babies every year, and with the internet there's information out there for every single aspect of childbirth, including the idea of using fisting to prepare ahead of time I think you've got us all wrong, its not justification of our kinks (if it was, we wouldn't have started this talk here specifically) What we are doing is trying to help calm nerves of a new maybe mother and grasping at whatever we can to do it. Ideally, I would like to hear from other kinky people who have a similar experience, not to talk shop, but to compare experiences and build confidence. But I do appreciate your wisdom about how nothing is new.
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May 8, 2024 19:34
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Yeah, I'd say contractions and the fact that you won't know how long you have to keep receiving them is way more intense and painful than tearing. I both had a tear, an episiotomy and a vacuum assisted birth and those were fine, because local anaesthetics exist and I was just pretty pumped up about the whole drat ordeal coming to an end. Far more helpful would be practising mindful breathing and techniques both the person giving birth and support person can do to stay calm and as relaxed as possible during contractions. I pressed a fine toothed comb into my palm every time a contraction came, it helped me concentrate on something else than the pain.
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May 8, 2024 19:51
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Super Librarian posted:One of my biggest takeaways from giving birth is that there's basically nothing new or untested at this point. Whenever something felt weird or painful during my pregnancy, I'd look it up and it'd turn out to be something totally normal that a bunch of people experience. Tens of millions of people have babies every year, and with the internet there's information out there for every single aspect of childbirth, including Yeah, this It works for baby physical and mental development as well. Anything your baby will say or do, someone's logged it and rate of incidence by week of life 50+ years ago and people are tracking the rate of change by decade for those milestones etc Another way to look at it is, including childhood disease and war somewhere between 10 and 12 billion people have been born in the last 100 years, and probably half or more have some kind of formal medical records. It's new to you but not the medical industry
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May 8, 2024 20:10
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I'll say as someone who tore twice... it didnt really hurt? Like it wasnt kisses from kittens, but the first time it felt a bit like a rubber band snapping and the second one was done so fast i didnt even notice I'd torn. The second one was with 0 anaesthesia, by the way. Getting injected with a local for the stitches hurt worse, and even that wasnt as bad as ive heard removing or getting an IUD can be. Fisting will probably help getting her skin and vaginal muscles used to stretching. But again, the pain of tearing was just not that big a deal all in all. Now I i didnt tear badly and I do have a pretty high pain tolerance, having snapped a femur once before. A safe and normal childbirth is extremely *intense,* and that intensity and the weird psychological urgency that comes when time to push can be frightening. And it does drag on. But pain meds are rad. There is a very gentle dissociative they can give you during labor that is just lovely, you can lightly trip and listen to music while your body does its thing. To sum up, do your thing, if it makes her feel more confident going into labor, great! That's always a positive! But for active pain management during labor, deep breathing, relaxation, and drugs will get you a lot farther.
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May 9, 2024 03:13
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thunderdome winner
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I think the idea that you're going to somehow minimize pain / tearing /whatever in pregnancy by one weird trick may set expectations in a pretty unhealthy way, especially if your partner is already concerned about pain. When your one weird trick doesn't really do anything and you're in significant pain and discomfort, that can induce panic and stress which leads to further pain and discomfort etc. I would think about your birth plan and plans around use of drugs, when you want interventions etc. What are you going to do when you're at four hours of pushing, your partner is getting tired, and you are real close to having a baby but not quite there? Having a plan makes a lot of it easier to deal with the pain and uncertainty. The plan should be conditional, by the way - our birth plan certainly didn't survive first contact. I will echo breathing exercises and strengthening exercises focused on abdominals/pelvic floor. Having a baby is very physically demanding.
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May 9, 2024 15:57
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This ^^^^ It’s more like prepping for a running race of unknown length. It could be a 5k or it could be a 100 mile ultramarathon from hell. But it’ll be physically demanding no matter what, and there are lots of places it could hurt. So how you and she are going to physically prep matters, sure, but the mental prep is important too.
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May 9, 2024 16:05
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Doll House Ghost posted:Great advice Hadlock posted:More great advice Chernobyl Princess posted:Even more great advice KYOON GRIFFEY JR posted:More great advice still cailleask posted:The hits just keep comin' Great stuff, and we sure do appreciate both the content and support. We understand that the consensus is breathe and be at peace. Kegels too. Still looking for our unicorn who has practiced as we described, though we know it was a long shot to begin with.
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May 9, 2024 16:45
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I've got a question thats part pregnancy, but let me know if this should get posted somewhere more career focused -- Wife is halfway through her pregnancy and is interviewing for jobs after a layoff. Recently she advanced to a final round interview, while also learning that the hiring manager is halfway through her pregnancy. My wife, if hired, would be filling in during the bosses maternity leave. This presents a bit of a quandary, since wife would presumably be on maternity leave at the same time. Any thoughts on approaching this? On one hand, the hiring manager and larger company are likely to be ticked off at their hiring strategy being disrupted, and losing time to find a replacement. On the other hand, people shouldn't be denied an opportunity because of pregnancy. Legally, she is probably protected after being hired, but I'm wondering if there are other impacts to consider
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May 10, 2024 03:06
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There's a Negotiation thread in BFC, they might be able to help. It's focused on getting the best offer in the hiring processes so your question is slightly off-topic, but the folks there can probably help. There's some HR peeps in there. Negotiation Thread
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May 10, 2024 15:32
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If watching Call The Midwife has taught me anything is that with a combination of girdles and big sweaters you can hide a pregnancy from your employer or family right up until that big sploosh of water hits the floor, and that doing so is always a good idea.
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May 10, 2024 22:39
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